I read a passage in a book not long ago
that said one of most painful kinds of marriage
is one in which your partner refuses
to fully commit his (or her) heart.
I can vouch for that.
For love to grow and flourish,
the author said,
the exit door has to close.
People can't grow within a relationship
if one partner is clinging to the thought
that somewhere out there,
there might be someone better.
If that partner secretly searches
for a better deal, all the while taking refuge
in the comfort of the marriage, the relationship can't
-- and probably shouldn't -- endure.
It takes a grown up to make
a commitment to fidelity,
to making one's Beloved "the love of a lifetime,"
to the notion that closing the door
to other potential partners opens up a big space
in the soul for a whole-hearted connection.
Let's hear it for fully latched doors
and the grownups who close them.
Let's hear it for love protected by lovers with integrity.